The holidays can be a time of mixed emotions for many. Stress, grief and overwhelm are common themes I hear in the therapy office. There's often busy schedules, financial tension and difficult relationships to navigate just to name a few common stressors. 

If you're in recovery from an eating disorder you may also struggle with more triggers around you during the holiday season. This could be more foods available that have typically been off limits or have caused binges, less structure and more tricky situations to navigate overall. We are often seeing family members we might not see very often, navigating boundaries and likely dealing with food and body comments made by well -meaning loved ones. 
As wonderful as the holidays can be, they can also be extremely stressful and challenging. Here are my tips as an eating disorder therapist, that I would encourage anyone in recovery to practice.
1. Continue to eat regular meals as often as possible
With all of the added celebrations, weird meal times (ahem... Thanksgiving dinner), and indulgent foods, I would encourage you to continue to eat your structured meals as often as possible. What I often see with people struggling with disordered eating is they "save up" their food for one giant feast in the afternoon. If you are having Thanksgiving dinner at 3pm you still need to eat your regular meals throughout the day. This could look like breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and an early dinner with dessert after. It's important that you continue with your regular meals the next day even if you feel like you over indulged or had a binge.  Work with your treatment team to decide what would support your recovery best. We want to be making sure we are eating regularly, we are eating enough and we are enjoying  the yummy foods that we want. 
2. Keep your therapy appointments and lean on your support team
Life can get busy and that tends to amplify during the holiday season. As easy as it is to miss therapy appointments, safeguard your sessions so you can have continued support. Use your support team to problem solve, come up with structure and support that will help you navigate recovery. If you are looking to begin therapy, feel free to reach out for a free 15 minute consultation here . 
3. Pick and choose what is truly important to you
You have permission to say no to events and gatherings that aren't supportive of your goals or recovery. Truly. There are ways to celebrate, to find joy and to enjoy the holiday season while still holding boundaries and maintaining recovery. We often feel like we have to say yes to all the invites and engage in all of the things so we don't miss out or we don't disappoint others, however here is your permission slip to choose quality over quantity. Maybe you don't make it to every event this holiday season and that's okay. If letting people down or missing out on events brings up big feelings for you, therapy is a great place to work through those. 
4. Practice your skills
This is a great time to practice skills such as mindfulness and other distress tolerance skills. A gentle reminder that just because it feels hard doesn't mean that you are doing it wrong. We often want to avoid difficult emotions such as anxiety, worry and disappointment. This year, let the work be making room for all of the emotions to be there and learning to ride the wave of them. Practicing acceptance of all emotions and leaning into values is a great skill to practice year round. Can you practice naming the emotions that come up and with curiosity asking yourself "What do I need to care for myself in this moment?". As with anything, this gets easier with practice,

This of course, is not an exhaustive list but a great starting point if you are wanting to continue on your path of eating disorder recovery.

Always rooting for you,
Hanna
LMFT  #135606 

 It's introduced in the Intuitive Eating work book by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Authentic health is the beautiful overlap of our inner attunement with our health values. Often times, our views of health can become very narrow. Focusing on things like exercise and nutrition and leaving behind things like mental well-being, relationship to food & movement, caring for ourselves and listening to & meeting our bodies needs.
In order to work towards authentic health it's important we make steps towards developing attunement, A skill we are all born with.

Attunement is having the ability to listen to our bodies needs and respond to the them in a caring, respectful way.

For most individuals that struggle with disordered eating and body image concerns, our ability to practice attunement get's shadowed by external rules and rigidity. It's common to lose your internal signals and replace them with external messages from diets, culture and outside influences. As we work towards reconnecting to our bodies, we can begin to develop attunement. 

Attunement disrupters (things that make it hard to tune in to your body and respond in a nurturing way)

• Skipping meals and/or restricting certain types of foods
• Exercising regardless of being injured, sick or tired
• Overworking
• Not getting enough sleep
• Suppressing emotions
• Excessive stress
• Difficult time setting boundaries or speaking up
• People pleasing
• Dieting/ following external guidelines and ignoring the bodies cues
• Excessive social media use

One way that we can nurture and learn attunement is through self care.
Catherine Cook-Cottone explains below:

Self Care: The Foundation of Well-being
Self-care is defined as the daily process of being aware of and attending to one’s basic physiological and emotional needs. This includes shaping one’s daily routine, relationships, and environment as needed to promote self-care. Self-care is seen as the foundational work required for physical and emotional well-being, and is associated with positive physical health, emotional well-being, and mental health. Research suggests that steady and intentional practice of self-care may prevent the onset of mental health symptoms, job/school burnout, and improve work and school productivity.
(https://www.catherinecookcottone.com/research-and-teaching/mindful-self-care-scale/)

Attunement nurturing

• Getting enough sleep for your body
• Regular and consistent food intake
• Joyful movement
• Self-reflection
• Awareness of thoughts and feelings
• Making time for relaxing, play and down time
• Self compassion practice
• Maintaining a manageable schedule
• Setting boundaries and speaking up/knowing needs
• A meditation or mindfulness practice

Attunement is foundational when it comes to nurturing authentic health. I want to invite you to take some time this week to reflect and practice what it feels like to go inward. To listen to your body and explore with curiosity the signals it's giving you.

Rooting for you on your journey of well-being,
​Hanna

Ever wonder how you can manage your emotions in a healthier way? This post today is all about emotions and the basics to get you started.

How are you? Truly, if you were to pause and check in what could you name? Are you tired? Sad? Excited about something? A mixture of something else? Most of us rarely pause throughout the day to check in with ourselves and ask the question "how am I doing?". More so, most of us have never been taught the skills to notice what emotions are present and what to do with them. Most of us travel through our day on autopilot. But emotions offer us an amazing tool. They are information for us to understand whats going on inside of our bodies, our minds and our brains so we can guide our life better.

Emotions versus Feelings
An emotion comes from a judgment of an experience we have. It stems from how we interpret the current situation. Which is why one situation may present as excitement for one person while it may provoke fear in another. Emotions are typically short lived and have a somatic response along with them ( such as tension in the body, feeling hot, blushing, racing heart).
A feeling is our internal response to the emotions. So, experiencing excitement about my new job is an emotion and with that excitement "I can't wait to get to work and start my day or share the news with those I love" that's the feeling. It's all very nuanced and in the big picture they tend to  both overlap. When someone tells you how they are doing it's typically a blend of emotions and feelings right along with them.
 
But I don't do emotions.....
For those of us who "don't do emotions", I always love to reference Brene Brown who shares "If you don't do emotions, they will do you". Emotions are a continuous flow that we ALL experience  throughout our day whether we are aware of them or numb to them. Our emotions are like waves, ebbing and flowing as we move along. Rarely do we ever just experience one emotion at a time. Likely there are multiples emotions present that can change in an instant. When we "don't do emotions" we can typically see emotions manifesting in other ways. This might look like irritability, anger outbursts, social media scrolling, increased drinking or other numbing behaviors just to name a few. But here's the deal, as long as we're human we're going to experience a range of emotions which is why becoming an expert of OUR own emotions and regulation can be a worthwhile journey.

Are there bad emotions we should try to avoid?
We tend to label emotions as good and bad. You know all those social media posts that say "good vibes only" and "just be positive"? Well, although good intentions, they are actually doing a disservice. Unless you are a robot, there will be times when you aren't experiencing "good vibes". In fact, many of us have different baselines of happiness levels due to genetics, among other factors. ALL emotions fit. Yes, some are more uncomfortable than others, but the more we try to push those uncomfortable emotions away the more difficult they become to manage. The healthiest thing we can do is begin to develop skills to navigate all emotions (because as long as you're human, you will experience them all on a regular basis).

Beach ball analogy
I love to offer this analogy as a way to sit with emotions. 
The Beach Ball analogy: Choose one emotion that you have a difficult time sitting with. Let's say it's sadness. Now, imagine that sadness as a beach ball floating around a pool with you. If you constantly try to hold that beach ball under water so you don't have to see it anymore, eventually it's going to pop out and splash you in the face. If you leave the beach ball floating on top of the water, every now and than it may come and bump into you, however it's not there long before it floats away again. It also takes a lot less time and energy than pushing it away. The key is to work towards accepting all emotions (aka the beach ball) will be a part of your life. You have the options of trying to push it away and having it pop up and splash you time and time again or work towards accepting it is there and learning how to care for yourself when it does come up and bump you.

Fun Facts about emotions and your health:
These stats come right out of the book Permission to Feel from Marc Brackett, Ph.D (highly recommend!)

• Research from Stanford shows short bouts of stress can boost immunity
• Crying is soothing because it carries stress hormones out of our body
• Feelings of gratitude increase oxygen levels in our tissues, speed healing and boost immunity
• We make most choices based on how we think they will make us feel
• Research shows without emotion skills humans are notoriously bad at predicting what will actually make us happy
• Research has linked emotional intelligence to less anxiety, depression, stress and burnout

Where to start?
The first step is to be able to recognize what we are experiencing. When we are on autopilot there is typically no space between an event and a reaction. Example: we're late to work (event)  and we become irritated, short tempered and rush through our day to make up for lost time (reaction). Our first goal at becoming emotional experts is to pause between an event and our reaction so we can recognize and identify what is actually going on. Example: we're late to work (event) we pause and notice we are anxious, feeling rushed and pretty stressed. We're worried our boss will be upset or we will be judged by our co -workers (recognizing). 

When we turn off autopilot we become more capable of  choosing how we want to respond to a situation. More on this to come in a future post! For now, I encourage you to practice pausing as often as you can. When an event happens take a moment to check in and see if you can recognize any emotions or feelings coming up for you.

Rooting for you in your emotional health journey,
​Hanna

Are you new to intuitive eating and curious about the health benefits? In today's post we chat about Intuitive eating basics.

Intuitive eating is the complete opposite of dieting......and when most people hear that their internal panic meter rises. However, intuitive eating is a beneficial approach to anyone looking to improve their well-being.  When I work with clients and groups on intuitive eating I like to describe the process of IE like writing with your non dominate hand. It's awkward, uncomfortable and takes work to get use to. However, it's a self empowerment model and brings our well-being back into our own hands. It's an ability we were born with but seem to lose over years of dieting and being exposed to our culture.
What is intuitive eating?
IE (or intuitive eating) is listening and honoring our bodies needs and wants. It's listening to and trusting our bodies cues and giving our body what it's asking for. IE is a non diet approach that helps individuals break the chronic diet cycle and  build a healthy relationship with food and their body. It is taking into consideration that each person is unique and needs and craves different things. IE is a mind- body integration that guides you back to the cues your body gives you.

The 10 principles
1. Reject the Diet Mentality 
Take a look back at all the diets you have tried over your lifespan. Have they worked (and by worked I mean been able to be maintained for a lifetime and given you freedom, health and nourishment)? For 95-97% of people the answer is no. Diet culture is everywhere. It can be found in our desire to cut out certain food groups, weigh and measure things, letting the scale dictate our health and so much more. Diet culture is everywhere we look and you have every right to challenge these things and be an advocate for yourself.
2. Honor Your Hunger 
Keep your body nourished and listen to your hunger cues. Opposed to going off of a serving size, meal plan or calorie count, listen to your body and its hunger cues.
3. Make Peace with Food 
Give yourself unconditional permission to eat. Allow all foods in your diet. There are no "good" or "bad" foods. Once we begin labeling foods they begin to become off limits. And what do we want when we can't have something? You know the drill. When we give ourselves unconditional permission to eat our bodies want variety and nourishment. All foods can have a place in your life.
4. Challenge the Food Police .
Challenge your thoughts that tell you you're "good" for eating something or "bad" for eating something else. This is #dietculture These are the types of thoughts that cause shame, anxiety and unhealthy thoughts/behaviors around food.
5. Respect Your Fullness 
Tune in to your body and notice if you are full. Respect your bodies fullness cues. This takes awareness AND permission to eat all foods.
6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor 
Choose foods that satisfy you. Before you eat check in with yourself and see what your body is craving. Something sweet? savory? hot? cold? listen to your body and allow yourself to have what you want.
7. Honor Your Feelings Without Using Food 
How can you honor your emotions without numbing? Honoring may look like noticing,  tuning into, validating and caring for yourself through it. Numbing might look like bingeing, restricting, beginning a new diet or workout plan to avoid sitting with the emotion. *note: most of the time we do not purposefully choose to avoid the emotion. For lot's of us it is because we have yet to develop the skills and tools to notice and regulate.
8. Respect Your Body Accept your genetic blueprint.
We. Are. Different. We all have different shapes and sizes that our bodies feel their best at. When we try to dictate that through extreme dieting we are robbing our bodies of doing the job they know how to do best, keep us alive and healthy.
9. Exercise–Feel the Difference 
I love to call this joyful movement. Find things that you love doing (and this might be different everyday). Move in a way that you enjoy and feels good for your body. This might be yoga, running, dancing, swimming, lifting weights among a lot of other things. And it's OKAY for this to look different every day.
10 Honor Your Health–
Make choices that honor your health, values and also your tastebuds. No need to be perfect.  Consider how certain foods make you feel. Find foods that honor your health and nourish your body. 

The benefits
Over 60 research studies have been done that have shown IE leads to

• Better body image
• Better overall well-being
• Lower rates of disordered eating
• Lower rates of emotional eating
• Higher self esteem
• Lower triglyceride levels

Among many other benefits
Resources to get started
These two books are great resources to get started
Intuitive Eating
Health at Every Size
Additionally I have ongoing groups throughout the year based around Intuitive Eating as well as resources through social media.

The perception we have of our body is molded by numerous factors; culture, environment and trauma are just a few. Most of us have deep rooted beliefs, validated by our culture, that we should look a certain way. Often, when clients start body image work, there is a belief that they are working towards loving how their body looks. Working towards this idea can deepen the cycle of black and white thinking and set us up for failure. Our relationship with our body will never be static. Just like emotions, we are wired to experience a wide range of thoughts and experiences daily in regards to our body. The goal isn't to make all the experiences perfect or to make us invincible from the negative thoughts, the goal is to learn how to navigate what comes up with respect and care. It's building resilience so when these moments do happen you are able to acknowledge them and carry on with your day instead of spiraling into shame.
I love how fellow HAES practitioner, Haley Goodrich, said it, "Body Image work is learning to be with our bodies and moving through the world with more neutrality towards them. It's learning to navigate the world a bit more skilled and with less body shaming".

Body image work is an ongoing journey, not a destination. Things you can expect to explore when it comes to body image healing are

• Your body image story (this might look like doing a body image timeline with a therapist or dietitian)
• Beliefs, fears and triggers when it comes to relationship with your body
• How to live with more neutrality around your body 
• Learning how to care for and respect your body, even on difficulty body image days
• Skills and tools to navigate difficult body image
• Values of yours and working towards alignment with them
• Using your voice, taking up space and setting boundaries
• Healing past traumas
• Expanding view of health
• Emotional awareness and regulation
• Processing grief
• Self-Compassion
• Media literacy 
• Learning the function of body image thoughts and behaviors

This isn't a check list we mark off one by one. Instead it's fluid, ongoing and will likely come up in different ways during different parts of your life. And, even while doing this healing work, you will have difficult body image moments. Often, we have to grieve the idea that body image healing isn't a shiny place we arrive to one day where everything is perfect. It can be challenging work AND It can also be work that comes with more

• Freedom
• Flexibility
• Brain space
• Relationships and connection
• Deeper relationship with self
• Healing
• Living
• and joy in life

Although body image healing isn't learning to love how your body looks, it is a powerful transformation. This transformation looks different than what diet culture promises us. It's a transformation that can make your life bigger. A transformation where you gain more than you lose. Healing your relationship with your body will begin to heal other parts of your life. It opens your life up to a world bigger than your body.

Healing Tool:
​My encouragement to you is to know you are exactly where you need to be on this journey. It's never too late and you're never "too behind" when it comes to learning and healing. To take this work a step further grab a journal and write out a list of perceptions that trigger your negative body image. Examples of this could be : Wearing jeans right out of the dryer, scrolling through social media, a change in the seasons, being tired, being around certain people, wearing clothes that don't fit etc. It's anything that happens that can change how you feel in your body in any given moment. The purpose of this is to begin to separate your body image perceptions from yourself as a human. Apply curiosity to this.

Rooting you on through your own healing journey,
Hanna

When things are out of control, the human tendency is to find something to control. This might be a subconscious decision and a skill that you likely developed to keep your nervous system feeling safe at some point in your life. Yes, I said skill. Most of the behaviors we turn to are brilliant ways we have learned to survive, using the skills we had at the time. Our human brain is wired for safety, We don't enjoy sitting in the discomfort (or true lack of safety) too long before our nervous system kicks in and says "we need to fix this, we need to feel better". Without appropriate tools to regulate, we might find ourselves turning to something such as eating disorder behaviors to cope. Whatever is surfacing for you in this moment, know that you are human and every part of you makes sense.
Our tendency is to fix and make hard things go away. So when these behaviors pop up  it can leave us feeling anxious and like we are falling backwards. Instead of turning to 'fix it mode' I encourage these 3 things to help guide to healing.

1. Sit with it. Name it. Validate it.
This is such a big step and one that takes ongoing practice. Instead of 'fixing" the behaviors, can you sit with them, name whatever it is that you're noticing and validate. This might look like pausing and saying " wow this is really hard. I am feeling out of control, anxious and overwhelmed right now. Its makes sense that I am turning to ____________ to comfort and sooth myself/feel a sense of control/cope." Tune in to what it feels like to sit with that instead of fix it, ignore it or judge it.
Action: Before turning to a behavior, take a moment to ask yourself "What emotions am I noticing? Where do I feel them in my body?". Reminder: This is out of curiosity and compassion. Not judgment and fixing.

2. Care for yourself> Getting rid of behaviors.
Check in with yourself. Ask yourself "What can I do to nurture and care for myself through this?" instead of "how can I make this go away?". Remember, these behaviors you developed kept you safe at some point in your life. The goal isn't to focus on getting rid of them. The intention is learning how to care for yourself in a way that nurtures + supports your well-being and the life you want. 
Action: Once you notice what emotions are surfacing for you, ask yourself "how can I care for myself through this. This might look like calling a friend, watching your favorite show, soothing self touch, a favorite song, a comforting meal, etc.. It can be helpful to brainstorm an ongoing list in your phone or journal of ways to comfort and soothe yourself.

3.Self-Compassion
Practicing self-compassion can help us validate what's happening and move through our experience with curiosity. It's all about treating ourselves with kindness, like we would a close friend. And also taking a moment to realize we are all human. We all struggle and we all experience difficult emotions. You aren't alone in this.
Action:Take a moment to do an inventory. Have you been treating yourself like you would treat someone you cared for? What can you do (or not do) today, to show yourself some compassion and kindness?

Remember, You are so worth caring for, now and always.

If you are wanting a deeper dive into self-compassion I have a free download for you below.

Take care,

Hanna ​